Disclaimer: these are fictional statements and any resemblance to overheard conversation on public transport is unintentional. No, really.

Or, the “it’s so stereotypical it’s painful” bus conversations in liberal America.

Millenial is often trotted out as a derogatory label, which I resent, being part of the contrived generation myself. However, some individuals are so painfully “millennial” they do not help the image which most folks have tried to eschew. Get your peanut butter mocha (a real overheard drink choice) and artisnal sourdough pretzels and settle in. To be clear, some of these are just plain ridiculous and not necessarily stereotypical, but still merit sharing because of the hilarity of the content.

Without further ado, here’s a few funny things you may enjoy:

“I got on the bad side of a Twitch streamer.”

I suppose this is the modern day equivalent to encountering a grizzly bear in the woods. Just as dangerous. Much funnier.

“There’s [sic] lots of people in Seattle who don’t like me”

Having many enemies in a major city. You’re either a politician, an activist, or annoying. You decide. If everyone dislikes you, they might not be the problem.

It’s really sad that I’m better at endocrinology than my own doctors. I know what tests I need

Ah, doctors love it when patients diagnose themselves with obscure conditions found within the deep recesses of search engines. If you’re not familiar with the science, endocrinology focuses on hormonal imbalances – conditions like diabetes, thyroid disease, and pituitary problems. It’s a complex area with multiple feedback loops and organs involved. Don’t get me wrong, taking responsibility for your health is important and you should be aware of red flag symptoms when cancer is on the rise, but leave the specialist lab tests to the experts. You’re really not better at endocrinology than an endocrinologist (unless you’re another endocrinologist, that is).

I can’t believe she escalated to commenting on a post

That this would be considered confrontational these days is…wow. And speaking of that:

Give a wow react. Wow is pretty neutral

Once upon a time it could convey excitement, wonder, amazement. Now it’s “pretty neutral”.

You should try the peanut butter mocha

Now there’s a coffee for someone who doesn’t like coffee.

I know you want to be Captain America but you’re acting like a real Homelander

Quite the 21st century analogy, unlikely to be recognised by anyone younger than 40 (a sweeping generalisation, yes).

Ten minutes is not a lot of time if you’re not online a lot

These people achieve a level of social media efficiency you couldn’t even dream of. For them, ten minutes is an interminable eternity.

Sometimes I really hate when people say “if you know you know” but what if I don’t know? And I want to know

This was just really funny.

I never thought I’d say it but indoor sky diving got old

I don’t even know what to say for this one, other than it reflects quite a significant disconnect from the reality of the life of an average person. It’s also really funny.

I like the bar because it gives me something to focus on, ground myself with

This was in reference to a foot bar on the back of a bus seat. I’ve never felt the need to be grounded on a bus before, but I reckon if I wanted to ground myself I’d use the floor. Or the ground.

This was just a little bit of light entertainment to buy me some time to work on other projects. As usual I have approximately a thousand other things on the go including the office, which is now shaping up well. Next time there will be more DIY, and perhaps a game or two.